Daddy’s little girl

slave had to laugh tonight, when Daddy went to bed her little really did come out. slave wanted to stomp her feet and throw a fit, but knew that good girls don’t do that. So once again slave sees her little and her “normal” sides clash. One wants to do the vanilla not gonna talk to you but then her true self screams slave needs to be a good girl:) Ugh the struggles of being a cheeky submissive!! Daddy still loves her though;)

How do you say good bye when you know it’s over?

She can feel it ending, another door is closing. Which does she pick her career or love? How can she decide that? Saying good bye when they both know it’s been done for awhile. Yet she holds on, praying to have both doors, it’s her worst nightmare. The good never lasts forever, it comes and goes. Will this love last forever? this chance won’t stay open forever, it’s closing faster and faster everyday. She sees what he wont say, feels what he says. The lies are too much some days, her heart is already broken. Sometimes you can’t repair what you’ve done. When the trust is gone, how do you go on? The addiction is there, her body and soul are so in need of him. Her personal heroin, his love will kill her.  Don’t you know about her? She is the strong one, smart, always has a smile. You wonder what’s behind her eyes, they question you. You think she has her life together, a good girl. Yet she lies to protect you, if you knew her the way she knows herself you would never live through it. Which one does she give her life to? Either one she is promising the world too. What happened to the little girl? A few more months and her life will change forever…. But how do you say goodbye when’s it’s already over?

I love you

( will be 100% out of “slave talk”)

Today I belong to only one. I can feel his tongue slowly going up my inner thigh and teasing my clit, hands running all over my body. Then sliding down and grabbing my ass, leaving dark red marks and welts.  He was in charge, but under my spell.  One deep look and we were ready. Shower, kitchen, balcony, bed, floor, couch, dryer, you name it and i was on top of it.

Sometimes I can still smell the fresh cigar. Its been too long since I’ve felt him, the dead will never wake. My soldier, oh how I miss him. I miss his passion, his love, damn I even miss his cock. His body was a work of art, so detailed and perfect.  Enough to make you soak yourself in seconds. They say God sometimes needs a new angel, he was my dark angel. Steamy and dirty, so very naughty.  Closing my eyes I can almost reach out to feel him skin hot, heart beating, God he is like a rock. All mine, and only mine. Yet its only memories.

For today I’m going to pretend he is alive, I’m going to pretend when i wake up at night screaming he will be there. I’m going to feel his touch all through-out my body and I’m going to let my mind wander away with him. I can’t stand it, my dark angel is gone. I’m going to scream out I love you, and I don’t care if i cant have him, he is mine right now. So when I wake up tomorrow I will cry and I will scream, but one more night with him is worth that pain, even if that one more night is all in thought.

I should say thank you for all of your services, and I am thankful to the men and women out there who are serving. But tonight my soldier will be with me, even if I have to close me eyes to see him. Rest In Peace my love….

Bad Girl

slave has not been on her best behavior. Daddy has had to punish her more the once within a few weeks. All over stupid small things that slave knows she shouldn’t do. She has just been so tired, not even physically just emotionally. But still slave knows she cannot just disobey all of her rules because she is tired. It’s not an excuse, obeying should be what makes her happy and ok.  She knows that it is time that she gave in and stopped fighting the natural way of things. Daddy is the natural way for slave.  Any ideas?

Sleep

Way past bed time.. slave knows she will be in trouble, but something is on her mind. It’s hard to explain the human need Or the human nature as many call it. It is the drive that’s quietly pushes the species to survival. This drive has to change with the enviroment.  The chance if survival comes from the basic needs of the individual.  That individual can push for a better enviroment, but doing so changes another’s environment. All in all what slave is saying is she is scared. She doesn’t express emotions well so science and logical thinking help. But something’s you can’t explain with either. Her life is changing so much and so fast, slave worries that she won’t be able to form into her new enviroment. And what that new environment holds. how can you turn fear and past flash backs into a logical equation? You just can’t, it’s the most frustrating thing. For the first time in a very long time, slave cannot justify a reason to say no or to walk away.  So why is fear so heavy right now??? Any thoughts?

Cold

life is too short… It is gone just as quickly as it is made. So when his shirt is still what slave cuddles in the times of most pain, why does it give more? just to have him sit next to slave Or to hold her one more time. Too drowned in his love, could fall forever with him. Yet he is gone, just like that. A snap of the fingers so fragile. Then slave is left here hurting and begging for his touch one more time. It’s a fire burning across the land, a terrible cold that no one can warm. His love was perfection in every way. Even fighting was amazing. Always pulled back to him, yet all thats left is a stone. Then there is her. A fiery red head, always in trouble. She could make you melt just be looking at you. Never thought she would go, never thought the angel would be called home.  Not so strong when you think about it, slave is here. Where are they? Tried praying but it’s like no one can hear slave. It’s a lost cause and it hurts.  Both of them slave loved and both were killed… Now slave sits here and types, but not for the reader.  To feel again something more then death. slave knows again what it is to feel alive, to feel like she is falling constantly but to never want it to end.  When you could die that second but wouldnt mind. When your in love it’s amazing. He loves slave because she is fragile, because she is cheeky and not perfect. He loves her so much that she feels it from miles away, on her knees she no longer prays. She looks up into the eyes of the one person who keeps her from simply vanishing. From changing into what everyone wants her to be. He is perfection, imperfect perfection.  He is everything……

👻👹Halloween🎃🔮

Happy Halloween:) this is Daddy’s and slaveves first Halloween together!! slave loves Halloween, it’s so fun and colorful. slave loves watching the kids run around and collect candy. Brings back memories of when she was a child. Hope everyone has a safe and fun day:) Daddy is letting slave skip her classes to go bowling and goof around with friends all day and night.  It should be fun:) but first slave has to go to her first class to be sure she turns in a paper. Ugh every other day it’s another paper😫 But after that no more acting like an adult or being behaved🎃 Have a good day

Sleeping alone

It’s been so long since the last time slave wrote. No excuses, just haven’t been able to express words. slave has never really told many people about this, maybe it time she does. The past is a funny thing, it hunts you when you are begging for the future. This is slaves story( slave will be saying I and me)

       I think it started when I was extremely young, 8 or 10. My dad was not the normal dad, he was a druggie. My mother was so lost in her own abusive world that she left the kids to raise ourselves. To defend and protect ourselves.  So on the night when he came to my room, she was drugged up on depression pills and my siblings ran away to friends houses. He never allowed me to leave the house much, unless he was by my side. I remeber the smell of whiskey and cheap pot. It flooded my senses and when he said he loved me. I was so happy to have his approval. That’s the first time I was molested by him. For many years he found himself in my bed, or toke me on long truck rides. When I was about 13 he and my mother divorced, I guess finding your husband in bed with last nights bartender is bad. I didn’t see him for almost 6 months, it was amazing. I never told anyone about his abuse to me, teachers would ask why I would cry when a male came towards me. No one guessed that the “role-model” dad was the one who made me that way. I was afraid of my own shadow. Told that my mother would hate me if she knew what a ” dirty whore ” I was. The court decided after 6months I had to see him. “It was in my best interest” as the judge said. I remeber screaming and crying, they all called it an act for attention. So I had to see hI’m every other weekend and two days during the week. These days started out happy, but after the court stopped caring so did he. I would go without food, because he thought I was too fat.  He beat me so I lied and said I was a clutz. I was top of my gymnastics class and competiting with the best, but after having no food and being so tired from long nights if his “games” i lost focus and cracked my spine. I lost everything I loved and he knew it, he had broken me. After months of his games he became bored and needed money. His dealers wanted to play a new game and he let them. Every weekend I would spend Friday and Saturday night being raped and made to dance for him and his friends. No one ever stopped them or said it was wrong. One woman was there and atleast gave me food. When I tried to rebel to say no, I was beaten on my back and legs, where no one coulf see. I learned to always say yes. When he was bored or angry with me he would sometimes tie me to a pipe in the basement. It was wet and cold. I would go home on Sundays and take a hot shower, tell my mother i was ok. I hated them all for not saving me from him.  So by the time I turned 15, I was ready to die. I had been stealing heron from him for 2 years and didn’t care anymore. I toke sleeping pills and tried to kill myself. Of course I failed and was put into a hospital for almost 20 days. Still didn’t tell a soul, but was told I could no longer see him. It toke almost two years if therapy for me to tell then the truth. By then all evidence was gone, it was a crazy kids word against a role model fathers. They didn’t beilve me, thankfuly my family did and they protected me. 

 

 

Sorry this was so long, it’s been in slaves mind a lot. there is much more to tell, but letting these emotions and stories out is hard, so skave has to go slowly. Without the love of slaves Dom now she would never be able to do this.  Slave knows this is a harsh topic but needed to say it. Have a good night and enjoy life

Dance in the Rain

It’s time to dance in the rain again. As the world is falling around slave, it can be hard to find a “sliver lining”, but you cant always chose to just sit and watch it pour.   So today slave is deciding to dance in the rain. She is sick, out of money and has so many other stress’s.  slave is excited to be able to just let it all go and forget it all is bad. Maybe if you forget its so bad and you just say ‘fuck it’, you can be happy even when everything seems horrible.  So tell me how do you dance in the rain? For slave she just goes crazy and lets it all pour down around her. So what if everything seems messed up, its time to be happy.  Everyday you have the choice to either sit and watch or to dance, today slave wants to dance. So lets all put the phones down, put the work away and dance:)

Protected

 slave keeps begging to be loved fully. With never a second thought of it, worth the person never has to second guess themselves. Why cant love be pure and a treasure. slave is so in love, but wondering if its more of a curse.  Love always turns to fire, and fire always burns. It also give life and heat. So what is love? Is it just the burns or does it give life.  Just not sure, right now all slave can feel is the burns. When someone you love the most shows you that they don’t feel the same way, it kills.  slaves eyes haven’t been dry it weeks, slaves life feels like it just crashed around her. Begging for what slave knew, what slave thought she loved. Now she has to start all over again, and just not sure slave wants to.  slave needs someone to keep the monsters away in the dark, to call her name, to love her and give her life. Right now its like slave is waiting to die.. This time love is danger, its pleasure, it everything you hate, everything you need….It s the one thing that can bring the strongest to their knees, and the weakest to their feet. Love is heaven, with a hidden hell. Share your stories